sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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