You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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