She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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