Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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