I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize