It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
