You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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