I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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