This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
