Dual....:-)
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
