I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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