What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
