It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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