Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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