there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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