i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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