i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
