No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
