Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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