i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
