She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
