Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
