the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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