i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize