do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
