And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize