Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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