i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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