Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
