I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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