I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
