If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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