We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
