If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
