You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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