She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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