girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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