when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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