We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
