She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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