I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
