i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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