In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
