He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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