I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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