Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize