dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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