you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
