1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
