Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize