So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
