just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
