I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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