i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
