How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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